Reversal of Fortunes for Syrian Refugees

It began with the best of intentions. Another war-torn country facing unimaginable suffering with western countries trying to do the right thing by stepping up to the plate and offering a new beginning for families caught amid the constant shelling from above.

There have been times throughout recent history when first world nations have extended the life-changing offer of refugee status on an emergency basis to accommodate a large scale influx of foreigners in peril, however, the mass migration of Syrians to Europe and North America is without precedent in terms of sheer volume. So much so, that a sense of buyer’s remorse has taken hold, forcing some well-meaning politicians to back-peddle on pledges made to those who have less than nothing.

The overly ambitious plan to resettle millions of Syrians in western countries that are themselves struggling to keep their economies afloat and their citizens working was perhaps an exercise in futility. The sacrifices being requested of first world nations were met with legitimate questions of how so many with such little education or the ability to speak the language could be integrated into the adoptive homes that had precious little time to prepare. From finding warm weather clothing, to locating affordable housing, to identifying established communities of Syrian heritage, the timeline to execute such audacious plans was too daunting.

There were well-publicized reports of Syrian refugees decrying their temporary conditions once entering their adoptive homes. To some, the refugees seemed ungrateful or felt entitled.  In Canada, personnel were evicted from their homes on military bases targeted to house incoming refugees. Cities such as Vancouver begged Trudeau’s government to slow down the gorging river of refugees, as they realized how overwhelmed they were in attempting to secure and commit the resources necessary to tend to a people whose previous emigrants were few in number.

Germany accepted 1.2 million Syrian refugees, a sticking point with Chancellor Angela Merkel’s electorate who vow to make her pay dearly the next time votes are cast. Her spin to soften her position is to now say the refugees are temporary, citing those from the former Yugoslavia, 70% of which returned to their homeland. That still leaves 30% more than 20 years later.

The Danish are demanding refugees surrender valuables upon arrival as a hedge against that country’s well developed social structure from imploding under the weight of its new inhabitants. Prime Minister Lars Lokke Rasmussen has even called for the abolishment of the UN refugee convention of 1951.

In the United States, where an election this year to choose the next President has created controversial statements from frontrunners regarding immigration in general, many are questioning the wisdom in accepting so many refugees while `there is a war going on with them`.

Back in Canada, a country upheld as a model of the multicultural cauldron, Syrian refugees face a steep uphill battle to master the English language as a fundamental necessity to compete for employment in an arena already filled to capacity amid a crumbled economy. Even with the short term assistance provided by Justin Trudeau`s Liberals, and not without its own vocal opposition attached, one can only wonder how sustainable it is to import low-skilled masses before regret manifests itself into hostility.

Interactive Urn Designed for a Widow’s Most Private Sorrow

Who else could have devised the ultimate ‘interactive’ urn for preserving the cremated remains of a lover passed than those darn tulip farming, chocolate obsessed, cheese waxing, pot smoking, sex crazed, windmill spinning, wooden shoed Dutch?

From the contemporary Netherlands design studio of Atelier Mark Sturkenboom comes 21 Grams, a customizable memory box in which a widow can preserve keepsakes of her departed intimate partner. As Sturkenboom’s website gracefully annotates, “After a passing, the missing of intimacy with that person is only one aspect of the pain and grieve, and often remains unspoken. A difficult time for a widow”.

Sure, there is the nifty iPod connector to amplify music once beloved by the couple. Yes, the locking mechanism opens with a pendant collier crafted from gold and brass as one might expect. And there is ample room in the memory box to stow tributes such as a special photo, a trinket, or a vial of her partner’s favorite cologne. But, storing his ashes in a hand blown glass dildo to relive intimate experiences, well, that’s pretty damn creepy indeed!

Once that furled eyebrow has been given the opportunity to acclimatize to the notion of mixing thoughts of sex with those of death, an uneasiness prevails, as those are two very sensitive topics that rarely belong in the same sentence. “21 Grams speaks in metaphors, not shock value”, grants Sturkenboom.

It would be tempting to insert some levity here given the uncomfortable product description just read. But in the interest of keeping it real, unless one has been in the situation of becoming a widow and who now finds herself craving a physical connection with her former lover, it would be hard to imagine a more gratifying release. This urn is a shrine to her former companion. Besides, who could deny her one more time for old time’s sake?

As the glass dildo is a discriminating characteristic of 21 Grams, it remains an open question of who could be the model for its form.

This is one of those types of products that defies category. It is not something one could offer as a gift for any imaginable occasion. Nor could it be considered an impulse or add-on purchase. And given its intended use under taboo-like conditions, one cannot help but be a little grossed out at the prospect of its mere existence. From a business perspective, the hope of recouping any research and development costs by selling units of 21 Grams ignores all reason, although when contacted, Sturkenboom refused to discuss sales and pricing data for this article.

Pushing boundaries and smashing barriers is hardly novel for Mark Sturkenboom. He seems to thrive on it. From his Ark time capsule, to his Sweet Anticipation humane live mouse trap, to his Separation Anxiety self destructing safe, this Dutch designer thinks on a more antithetic level than most.

The 21 Grams cabinet is constructed of wood, measures 25x15x15 cm and weighs in at 2 kilograms.

Rape on Campus

This is a reprint of my article originally published in 2010. With mainstream media giving this issue more attention lately, I felt it prudent to republish.

For many parents, watching their spawn begin post-secondary education brings back memories of being all choked up over the tike’s first day of kindergarten and elementary school. It’s a time when parents realize how the years have flown past and with heavy hearts reminisce of the reliance the children once had on them. They grow up so fast.

Campus life is many things. It brings together students from the full spectrum of religious and spiritual beliefs, socioeconomic backgrounds, and political slants. They attend their chosen studies to achieve the education needed in their future occupations, adhering to an impossible timetable of study, work, and play. This mixture of personalities and purposes results in a vibrant elixir that sharpens imaginations, stimulates the senses, and propels minds to achieve. And after a few years of indoctrination, graduates are dressed in an unflattering gown, capped with a funny matching hat, and urged to take on the world.

Campus life is other things too. Those very same students with all their prides and prejudices become citizens of a city within a city where not everyone plays by the rules. In the United States, a recently released report by The Center for Public Integrity (CPI) claims that one in five female students will be the victim of rape or attempted rape by the time they graduate. The US Department of Justice says that figure is closer to one in four.

As with sexual assaults in the general population, pinning down an accurate figure is difficult due to the high degree of under reporting. The CPI research goes on to say that prosecutors are reluctant to prefer charges against alleged campus perpetrators largely because the cases boil down to a He Said, She Said situation where various levels of intoxication are involved by both assailant and victim.

With the victim lacking any feeling of justice, she follows the only other path available; that of seeking sanctions against the offender through the university’s Code of Conduct process. The harshest penalty available for the ill-trained resolution panel under this loose amalgamation of vague passages is the expulsion of the offending student, but it is a rarity that this measure is undertaken. Statistics show that in better than 85% of cases adjudicated under these processes, absolutely no sanctions were meted out to the offender, even if he has confessed to his complicity.

The overall stance from institutes of higher learning appears to be that they are educators, not judiciary, and cases brought forward under resolution panels are a thoughtful way to hold the offender accountable and should focus on lessons to be learned by the offending behavior, rather than punishing anyone.

Campuses in the United States, eager to attract tuitions and grant money, are subject to the Clery Act and to what is known as Title IX. The Clery Act and Title IX are federal laws that mandate colleges and universities to report crimes on campus and provide key rights to victims. It is full of loopholes that campuses exploit to paint a picture of a safe learning environment for prospective and current students.

One of the more glaring findings contained in the CPI’s report is that campus rapists tend to be serial offenders who have, on average, six victims. Clearly the perpetrators are aware that their felonious activities are given little importance by campus administration and are likely to be covered up to avoid embarrassment to the school. There is no research to show if campus offenders continue their plunder in the general population once they graduate. Even if you don’t buy lottery tickets, you would still have to bet that offenders do not cease their criminal acts once they receive their parchment.

In Canada, there is no equivalent of the Clery Act or of Title IX. No recent research has been conducted a la The Center for Public Integrity. But none of this should suggest that the crisis of rape on campus is any different in Canada than it is in the United States.

As with the United States loopholes, crime on campus statistics in Canada is full of inconsistencies. While there is no legislation for post-secondary institutions in Canada to publish their crime data, most do so as part of their disclosure to parents and students. However, some publish only the previous month’s crimes and there is no standard for equity in reporting. Others, such as the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon openly post all their crime statistics online, and according to Bob Ferguson, Director of Campus Safety, were the first in Canada to do so.

Victims of sexual assault on campus face peculiar hurdles not faced by victims in the general population. Because of the intermingling of offender, victim, and witnesses in close confines such as dorms, fraternities, and sororities, when a victim makes an allegation of sexual assault, it often causes dissention among the various close-knit demographics, splitting opinions, friendships, and interpretations of the assault. This is further aggravated by these groups of people attending classes together and the institution wanting to protect its reputation and exposure to litigation. These factors contribute heavily to complaints being recanted by the victims, or the victim dropping from or transferring out of the university.

There is considerable reluctance on the part of educational institutions to discuss sexual assaults on campus in Canada. Few of the universities, all household names in primary cities of Canada, contacted for comment and input for this article responded. There could be any number of reasons why they did not wish to contribute to this article, but it should not go unnoticed that the faculty and staff presumably have children who currently, or will soon, attend a post secondary facility.

Given the odds indicated by The Center for Public Integrity or the US Department of Justice that 20-25% of young women who attend a college or university will be the victim of a sexual assault or attempted sexual assault during their years of study, one would have to question why this subject is not on top of every campus agenda to protect potential victims, advocate for victims who come forward, and contribute greatly to the punishment of offenders.

Autumn and the Harvest Moon

The Harvest Moon arrives for its annual visit, its suitcase packed with paintbrushes of vibrant colors for the falling leaves, stubbornly illuminating the blackened sky for farmers to reap their bounty, it brings a night chill that stiffens bones, lays a thin blanket of ice atop ponds, and forces squawks from geese as they eagerly retreat to warmer southern climes.

Where has spring and summer gone? Seems like only yesterday when the emergence of that glowing sun struggled to melt the winter’s snowfall and breathe new life into all creatures and plants. Tilling the soil for a garden seemed to take forever and the weather never cooperated. It’s a wonder anything sprouted, let alone thrived.  And now it’s time to unpack the sweaters, heavy coats, and warm boots. Don’t forget the shovel, mitts, and toques. Ugh!

Packing away the t-shirts, shorts and suntan lotion, a reminiscent smile broadens across the face, remembering the crackling bonfire roasting marshmallows during that long weekend camping trip; recalling sitting on the patio of that café wearing dark sunglasses, sipping on a cold beverage while people watching and forming quiet opinions on their interactions with each other; and questioning the purchase of that flimsy trinket during the window shopping spree while on vacation. Good times!

Maybe there was warmer weather this year after all. It sure was a short season though.

Autumn serves as a transition period. It is a time for reflection and it is a time for preparation. Perhaps that is why Thanksgiving is celebrated in the fall. It allocates the opportunity to be thankful for the important things in life such as family, friends, and health. And it compels the necessity to insulate against the coming harshness and to stockpile against the dwindling availability of provisions.

Splashing acrylics of hue on dancing leaves, gently tugging them from their waving limbs and easing them earthward on a thick layer of ice fog and heady air, the autumn daylight unveils a hidden masterpiece created by a nocturnal Harvest Moon. Quickly covering pathways that recently guided followers, the mounting piles of psychedelic petals provide nature’s canvas for a lunar muse.  Stepping through its carpeted cushion, occasionally kicking up its fibers ranks high as one of life’s greatest memorable experiences. Rolling in them amid maniacal laughter runs a close second.

That big, bright Harvest Moon runs a fool’s errand as it attempts to lengthen the rapidly shortening days, yet it is impossible not to appreciate its enterprising endeavor. Darkness outside brings darkness inside.

originally published 2010

Domestic Violence Knows No Bounds

The recent arrest for domestic violence of famed singer/songwriter Don McLean, at his home in Camden, Maine once again brings to light the prevalence of family abuse. More glaringly, however, it spotlights just how little has been achieved in eradicating this plague that transgresses every socioeconomic barrier in society.

At the time of this writing, few details on McLean’s arrest have been made public and the 70 year old singer of such hits as American Pie and Cats in the Cradle has not been convicted of anything in connection with this incident, but his mere arrest is telling enough to propel the conversation surrounding domestic violence back into the public consciousness and create another teaching moment for children and adults alike.

The United Nations defines domestic violence as “…that [which] results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering… including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life”.

According to Statistics Canada, there were 88,000 victims of police-reported family violence in 2013, representing more than a quarter of all violent crimes reported. Victims can be male or female, straight or otherwise, rich or poor, young or old, hold advanced educational degrees or be illiterate, believe in a faith or not, be of any color, and defy any combination thereof. The same can be said of those who perpetrate the violence.

Figures vary immensely depending on the criteria established, but estimates indicate that only one in five incidents of domestic violence is ever reported in Canada. Not surprisingly, female victims are twice as likely as male victims to file a complaint of domestic abuse, according to the Canadian Association For Equality (CAFE).   

The Canadian Women’s Foundation cites an alarming statistic that on any given day, 3300 women and their 3000 children will be sleeping in a shelter because of a domestic violence issue. A further 200 women are turned away due to lack of space. There are no men’s shelters in Canada for victims of domestic abuse.

The public discussion surrounding domestic violence is a fairly recent phenomenon, having once been whispered as a private family matter. Still, evidence continues to mount that the openness with which domestic abuse is discussed has yet to be potent enough to see it expunged. Violence should never be acceptable, regardless of the circumstance.

In 2012, the first study in Canada was conducted to quantify the costs of spousal domestic violence. The study undertaken for the Government of Canada’s Department of Justice stated, “Including the impact borne by the justice system, the impact borne by primary victims, and the impact borne by third parties and others, the total economic impact of spousal violence in Canada in 2009 is estimated at $7.4 billion amounting to $220 per Canadian”.

Money aside, the impact domestic violence has on a victim mentally, socially, physiologically, emotionally, and physically is devastating and immortal. Absenteeism from work for medical appointments and court appearances causes some victims to lose their job. Family splits cause some to lose their standing in houses of worship. The abused tend to move more often to avoid further violence. Persistent medical issues can result from abuse. These are but a few of many scars left as a result of domestic violence.

What can you do if you think someone is being abused? The Canadian Women’s Foundation offers these tips for female victims of domestic violence, but is applicable for all.

·         If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 or the emergency number in your community.

·         Put her safety first. Never talk to anyone about abuse in front of their suspected abuser. Unless she specifically asks for it, never give her materials about domestic abuse or leave information through voice messages or emails that might be discovered by her abuser. However, abuse thrives in secrecy, so speak up if you can do so safely.

·         If she wants to talk, listen. If she doesn’t, simply tell her she does not deserve to be harmed and that you are concerned for her safety. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help, but don’t offer to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or feels unsafe.

·         If she decides to stay in the relationship, try not to judge her. Remember, leaving an abuser can be extremely dangerous. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can offer a woman who is being abused is your respect.

·         Learn about emergency services in your community, such as your local women’s shelter or sexual assault centre. Search on-line, or consult the front pages of your telephone directory.