Regrets? Aye, they be many. Chief among them is a profound realization that despite the best of intentions, my accomplishments in the previous twelve months were comparatively inferior to the goals set. And yet, that being said, in this year my life found unintended pathways leading to experiences never before imagined, each with its own degree of reward.
One such event, very early this year, was being so filled with rage that my iPod and its 6285 entries was stolen from me as I lay in hospital recovering from surgery to save my leg.
The medical team indeed rescued my leg from almost certain above-knee amputation, albeit at the cost of a foot. But my sole thought at the time, despite the torment of full body aching pain and the stabbing sensation of phantom piercing delivered with the rabid ferocity of a bloodthirsty lunatic, was for a device designed with the functionality and obsolescence that could only come from the brilliance of the world's richest corporation (as per market value), and its almost fad-like contents. How myopic, I now realize.
Maybe it was the indignation I felt at being victimized while incarcerated (believe me, I can assure you at how appropriate this term fits) in a trusted medical facility. Perhaps it was the plethora of medications honing in on my psyche at a vulnerable time. Or even, it could have been what that iPod represented to me; an escape, my freedom, sharing with others, and being transported to those times in my life when things were different.
I find that as I ripen, the years seem shorter. As I mellow, the world seems angrier. As I age, I long for my youth.
What I should have been more cognizant of at the time, were the tribulations I experienced, how I got to that point, and what lessons I could glean from having all the terrestrial and extraterrestrial forces line up in the manner they did.
My inner journey continues, but it occurs to me now that a device fewer than a sixth of the world could ever afford to purchase took on a prominence in my life disproportionate to its actual value.
As the sun sets on another year aboard this ship called Life, perhaps the final Winter Solstice of our existence (if you put any stock in our interpretation of the Mayan calendar), challenge yourself to make a real difference in one person's life by inspiring he/she who is struggling. Allow your soul to be brave. Make peace in your heart so there may be peace on Earth.
Many thanks to Feral Dog Studios for the use of their photo for this article.
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